I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
