Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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