Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
