Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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