lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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