Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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