pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
