Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize