So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
