bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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