he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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