Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
