Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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