I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
