Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
