South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
