I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
