is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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