Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
