if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
