I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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