Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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