Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
