i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
