youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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