i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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