Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
