I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
