She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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