You can't special order awesome
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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