Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
