True but thats because hes a fetus.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
