It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
