You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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