did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
