bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
