508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
