I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
