I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
