so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
