Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
