the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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