You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
