the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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