So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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