This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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