if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
