Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
