she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
