you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
