these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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