You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
