We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
