I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
