the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
