pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
