My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
